What a wonferful day with Kei and Whitty yesterday. It was certainly your lucky lucky lucky day Kei Kei...hahahahahahahha

Things have been amazing lately, sometimes it makes me wonder if some humanized higher powers really exist. Have they picked me out of the whole bunch of living things and are now working their plan on me?

A walk around LKF again makes me all thrilled by that metamorphosis plan of mine, it's strange that this place where I've only been to like, three times for all these 19 years, can energize me and light that flame in my heart whenever I stroll up and down the stairs, checking out all the fancy pubs and restaurants there, seeing all the happy faces of the people enjoying themselves.

Okay so all these things I've mentioned were not our plan yesterday, our plan was to watch Brokeback Mountain. The Cyberport cinema was a nice cozy theatre, but that Cyberport, well, was like a deserted island.

The sadness just lingered in me when the credits moved slowly up the screen and the light gently illuminated the theatre. I couldn't forget that moment when Heath Ledger pulled the two shirts out from the closet. It's so sad. It's like the sadness quietly creeps underneath your skin and slips into your heart, and it sinks deep inside and remains there, and whenever everything quiets down and you're alone, it floats and haunts you.

It's the Brokeback mountain. A Brokeback mountain that everyone keeps in their heart, that dreamy too-good-to-be-true happiness yet it's never allowed to be told, to be shared and to be exposed in the reality. Everyone has that untold secret or regret in their heart, and the sadest bit is, you try so hard to keep it away from people, you think that you have better reasons to keep that secret than to get it off from your chest, you think that people around you will never know about it, yet, these people you're trying so hard to conceal that brokeback mountain from, all silently sense it, they may even have seen it with their very own eyes, yet you, and everybody else, just go on their life as if nothing had happened. And when you can't stand the darkness of secret anymore, when you think finally there's a way out, that brokeback mountain just collapsed and vanished. You live the rest of life in remorse, regretting that lost opportunity you once have, just one step, one tiny step you could have made, can change the whole thing, but you've missed it and the brokeback mountain's gone forever.

The movie itself is beautiful. It's poetic, that sadness and beauty of love was translated by the intense emotions behind the controlled expression of the actors. That landscape of Brokeback mountain, those borederless greens and running water, seemed to symbolize the endless love, the forbidden love in the safety of nature, yet when the two protagonists were back to reality where there're deserted houses, huge open cement ground, they're eaten up by the cruelty of reality and the conservatism of society.

Heath Ledger is wonderful in the movie, used to think that he's no more than a pretty face, but that struggle between cowardice and heroism in face of brutality in life potrayed through his sad eyes and silence has totally changed my opinion of this actor.

Brokeback Mountain, it certainly deserves an Oscar, though the politicalized or Americanized Oscar is no match of Lee Ang's bold antagonism against the mainstream.